“How are you feeling?”

That’s the question I get the most these days. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve stopped saying “I’m fine!” all the time, like I did when I was younger. Now, if I’m fine, then I’ll say that. But I generally answer the question differently. I’m tired but good, I’m great, I’m alright, whatever the case may be.

And lately? I’m just tired. Tired of being pregnant. Tired of being slightly uncomfortable almost all day. And I’m also, probably, a little hungry. And I feel humongous.

Then I usually get “How much longer?” And I say “about a month!” which seems like an eternity. But I do know it will go by quickly.

So really, I’m fine. Thank you for asking.

How are you?

What I’ve learned about people from IG

I’ve been actively on social media for a decade. Sure, I was on Facebook in 2005/6, whenever it came to my college, and that’s 18 or 19 years. But social media was a lot different back then.

And let’s be honest, when I see my old Bethany Facebook posts from 10 years ago, EEK. Surely that’s not just me. I make this face a lot when I look at my old posts: 🥴

Anyway, in the last 10 years, specifically on Instagram (and Snapchat - I was really into Snapchat for several years!), I’ve learned so much from YOU. Now, I could go on for hours about the actual things I’ve learned… I’d say, every day, there’s something I do in my kitchen that I learned from a follower. 🫶🏻

But I’ve also learned things that you didn’t mean to teach me:

People just want to be heard. Sometimes, people just want to say how they’re feeling, how they’re doing, what they think, without getting into a big debate or discussion. They aren’t looking for advice. They just want to know that someone out there hears them, really hears them, and cares. You matter, your opinion matters, your voice matters, your problems and concerns matter. No advice, just “oh wow, that sounds really hard. I’m so sorry.”

People want to be validated and appreciated. Scenario: I ask a question on my IG story, like, “What’s your favorite mascara?” I get 100 responses. Now, of course, that’s not 100 different replies. Years ago, here is how I would respond….

• Person A: “Lash Paradise is my favorite!”

• Me: “Great, thanks!”

Then, a bit later, I might get this response:

• Person B: “I love Lash Paradise!”

• Me: “Someone else said that already!”

[face palm] How would person B know that someone else had responded that? They wouldn’t. And now what? It’s just a weird interaction… so NOW, here is how I respond, to person A, B, and all the others:

• “Great, thanks!”

It doesn’t matter that I got the same response several times. People want to feel helpful (and honestly, it IS helpful to get the same response because that shows which ones are the most popular). Just say thanks! We’re all out here in this world together, figuring things out - HEY, before right now, I’ve never been a 39 year old lady, pregnant with 3 kids! To recap:

• Say please.

• Say I’m sorry, when it’s needed.

• Say thanks.

• Lift people up.

• And if someone isn’t asking for advice or feedback, don’t give it. Just be encouraging.

Feel-good hormones

I did some reading for you, and I’ve condensed it all down to a few lists (I LOVE lists)! Here are two links with more info, if you want to read more: Harvard / Healthline

Lately I’ve been seeking out a “high”, but I’m finding short-term ones that fade quickly, leaving me wanting more. For example, I check my IG messages alllll the time. I don’t even respond half the time (I respond to them in bulk, but I am always checking to see how many I have and who they’re from). Something about going from 14 messages to 15 gives me a little boost of feel-good.

I talked about this recently on IG stories, and I got some helpful replies; it made me want to learn more about the other feel-good hormones and how to increase them. So, without further ado…

Here are the 4 hormones plus some ways to increase them:

Dopamine (the feel-good hormone, the habit-former)

• Regular physical activity (one workout won’t necessarily do it… it comes after working out regularly)

• Laugh!

• Eat something delicious.

• Eat yogurt, beans, eggs, meats low in fat, and almonds.

• Drink green tea.

• Listen to beautiful instrumental music, something that moves you.

• Meditate.

Serotonin (the happy chemical)

• Go outside, get some sun. Try 15 minutes, a few times a week, at least.

• Regular physical activity

• Eat foods high in tryptophan (chicken, eggs, cheese, fish, peanuts, tofu, and a few others).

• Drink green tea.

• Listen to your favorite music.

Oxytocin (the love hormone)

• Laugh with a loved one!

• Share a delicious meal with a loved one.

• Meal prep with a loved one.

• Enjoy a romantic evening: include physical affection or even just spending time with someone you care about.

• Give your dog some cuddles.

• Swap massages.

Endorphins (nature’s morphine)

• Regular physical activity

• Laugh!

• Eat something spicy.

Hope that was as helpful and interesting to you as it was to me!

Hot Springs

We went to Hot Springs, Arkansas, last week. It’s my 4th time as a mom. I went once, in high school, with my family - it was the first time I ever got a massage!

Anyway, I was going to write it all out in this email, but I decided to publish it separately since it came to nearly 3,000 words. Woops!

So if you’re interested in the full run-down of Hot Springs food, drink, kid stuff, outdoor stuff, lodging, all that, please CLICK HERE to check out the Hot Springs info!

Best chocolate chip cookies ever

This recipe really is AMAZING.

I love that there’s no chilling involved. They require no special ingredients, just pantry staples. And they’re still soft and delicious a day or two later!

TikTok roundup

1. Turn frozen dinner rolls into pizza crust. I’m definitely trying this soon!

2. Look at these pretty gel pens you can get from the Dollar Tree! I never really go in there unless I’ve got a reason to - now I do. 🙂 

3. Have you ever seen baby hedgehogs??

4. This lady has a corporate job and shows her daily outfits. I LOVE her style - it’s simple and classic and lovely.

5. My goodness - so many beautiful features in this one home. Wow!

True Crime story of the week

I got a tiny bit of feedback about this, and so every now and then I’ll include a true crime story of the week! I’ll give a rundown of a story and then link to a podcast where you can hear the whole thing. Does that sound okay?

This week, I learned about these stories:

• *Kris Kremers and Lisanne Froon, two Dutch tourists who went missing in Panama but were later found deceased

• Gretchen Anthony, a Florida woman who was murdered

• Nicole Pietz, another woman murdered

• Janet Chandler, a young woman, also murdered - such a terrible case - This one is interesting because it went cold for decades. It was only solved because of a college (or maybe graduate) class who was tasked with digging into a cold case. They breathed life back into it, ultimately helping to solve the whole thing.

• Andrew Kissel, a man murdered

• Ray Kotomski, a man who died from anti-freeze poisoning (was it murder or suicide?) - related note: WHY CAN’T THEY JUST MAKE ANTI-FREEZE TASTE GROSS??

• more on the Mica Miller case (currently being investigated)

The Kris Kremers and Lisanne Froon story (I listened on the Casefile podcast!) is quite a head scratcher. In April 2014, these two Dutch girls were on a 6-week trip to Panama. One day they decided to go for a hike on the El Pianista trail, which should have taken then a half day or so, but they weren’t ever seen alive again.

After some time, a local person came across a backpack that had a cell phone and a digital camera inside, as well as some cash and other items.

The police were able to see that the phone was unlocked with a passcode many times over the course of April 1 (the day they went on the hike) and the following week or so, and it was also shut off several times. Then someone turned it on but did not put in the passcode. The police could see that they tried to contact emergency services, but there was no signal, so the phone was shut back off.

On the digital camera, they found lots of photos of their hike - everything looked fine and normal. Then there’s a gap of a week before any more photos are taken. And there is a series of about 90 pictures, almost all just into the darkness with the flash on, taken within seconds of each other (presumably being used as a flashlight). There is one photo that’s a closeup of someone’s blonde hair. In addition, there is a picture missing between the “fine and normal” pictures and the “darkness” ones, a photo that was deleted and has never been recovered.

I won’t share the entire story here, but here is what I think happened: the girls got turned around on this trail. Instead of turning back toward their starting point, they ended up going further onto the trail. They got lost and tried calling for help. I think one girl slipped, broke her leg, and the other girl tried to help but was unable to. At that point, they were already tired, dehydrated, hungry, and likely delirious. And they succumbed to the elements. I just have a few questions though… Why didn’t they continue calling for help? Who deleted the missing picture and why? How did no locals come across them during the many searches that took place?

There are still a lot of questions we’ll never get answers to, but the families were ultimately satisfied with the explanations from both the Panamanian and Dutch police units who investigated.

Final notes

I literally just ate a chocolate chip cookie, then 5 minutes later, swallowed…air?, and started coughing like crazy. It was one of those things where you feel like you can’t breathe and it gets kind of scary for 10 seconds, you know what I mean? My throat is all scratchy now from all the coughing, but I drank a bunch of water, and I’m okay now. {phew}

The night before we headed back home from Hot Springs, I could not sleep. I was up all night with a sour stomach. And I must have been out of it - or it was a ghost - but at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up with a startle because I swear that I heard someone loudly go “PSSST.” Could have been a dream, but I tend to remember my dreams! Anyway, all day Saturday was rough. My stomach was rumbly, I was exhausted, and then we had to drive the 3ish hours home, which is slightly uncomfortable when you’re big pregnant. Thankfully the stomach stuff seems to be gone now!

While we were gone, a few things were done on the add-on. They finished the electricity wiring, started on plumbing, and built the bathroom closet. They also cleaned up more of the yard. Today (Monday), the new windows should finally come in, so I hope that means the exterior will be all done this week! That also means my second guess of when they’ll be done (May 15) is wrong… my new guess is May 31. 🙃

Annabelle’s big dance recital (her first one) is this week. She’s excited and not nervous at all. I know I’m going to cry when she comes out on stage.

I’ll be 35 weeks pregnant this week; we should probably buy a car seat, bassinet, and a few newborn outfits! You know, baby stuff. 😄 

SORRY - NO MEAL PLAN this week! We were out of town, and we have not gotten groceries. So we’re wingin’ it. I’ll be posting what I make day-to-day, on Insta stories though. And next week, I’ll share a meal plan again!

Wanna send a little something my way?

If you’d like to support me and my content, then here are three ways:

• Send along an encouraging note, here or on IG or even snail mail!

• You can “Buy Me a Coffee” - it’s a virtual tip jar!

• And finally, here is a link to my Amazon wish list! There are some baby-related items on there too. 🙂 Also, my PO Box is still open!

  • Bethany King

  • PO Box 8152

  • Shreveport LA 71148

Much love,
Bethany

PS If you want to see old emails, here’s a link to all of them!